The term authenticity in leadership gets talked about a lot. In this episode, David and Margaret break it down a bit more.
Margaret shared an anecdote about someone who created a plaster mask of their face and painted both sides. Many of us have given some thought to how we think we show up–or the outer-facing part of the mask. But it’s also important to look at that inside part of the mask, which equates to how we see ourselves. Neither is necessarily your authentic self.
Our hosts take a deeper dive into what constitutes authenticity in personal and professional interactions.
To Mask or Not To Mask?
David recalled a leadership development program exercise in which participants received direct feedback from peers that revealed how inauthentic they were.
Margaret, who went through the same leadership program, likens the way she showed up as putting on her front-facing mask, namely the ways we believe we are supposed to show up to be likeable or popular. That can look like trying to be “sunny” or smart — things we have been taught will make us more appealing.
People often act in these ways they perceive as likable or to fit in. But without realizing it, their “acting” can land as pretty inauthentic.
This is true of donors, as well. Our donors can, David believes, smell your inauthenticity from a mile away. The duo offer a fundraising training, called the Being of a MEGA Gifts Fundraiser, which highlights how fundraisers can learn to be genuine with donors rather than adopting artificial personas.
The Difference Between Our Masks … and What Resonates with Others
David and Margaret dig into what their own masks might have included — and how they have both learned a lot about how to take the masks off. That included learning about what makes them more authentic.
David shared that he thought he needed to be serious, direct, and competent for much of his adult life. Those were the qualities of his mask. But at some point, he received a leadership assessment that revealed his natural warmth, which he had not previously recognized, as a key aspect of his personal impact.
Margaret (up until recently) felt she “should” show up as smart, friendly and neutral, avoiding confrontations and radical opinions.
For both, receiving feedback that warmth, eccentricity, and quiet magnetism were more resonant than trying to seem smart or serious … turned out to be profound. Margaret shared that her initial reaction was to resist being perceived as eccentric and goofy. She has since embraced those qualities. And those qualities turn out to be more resonant than expected in professional settings.
They also touched on the common experience of introverts who feel they must be chatty or performative, but who might find relief in learning they are more authentic (and thus more powerful) in their stillness, their quiet and their other natural tendencies.
Authentic Leadership Development Session
David and Margaret discussed the challenges of maintaining different personas at work versus in personal settings.
They suggested reflecting on past experiences in which listeners have felt pressured to change to fit in.
David offered listeners the opportunity for a “typing session” with Margaret and him to help them identify their natural qualities and provide coaching on how to apply them effectively, particularly for leaders and fundraisers.
Please reach out to learn more.