Embracing Disruptive Events: The Paradox of Planned Disruption
Embracing disruptive events and emotions? How in the world is one supposed to do that?
In the episode, as David prepares for an upcoming surgery, David and Margaret have a look at the seeming paradox of planned disruptive events. Examples might include a surgery or significant life changes such as having a friend or family member in hospice, retirement, or making an undesired move across the country.
What is the paradox of such events? We might have notice and can plan for these events — but we still can’t control the ways our lives will be disrupted. And we can’t control the range of emotions that come up when we contemplate known but unwelcome events.
David is anticipating a total knee replacement surgery. But even though it’s planned, it will be quite disruptive.
Such events can evoke a range of emotions, including anxiety, dread, and uncertainty. David was feeling all those emotions.
So how can one be with the anticipation of planned disruption?
Allow the Emotions Just … To Be
They explore the wisdom of accepting these emotions rather than trying to suppress them.
They discuss what it feels like when we have more than one emotion at a time. This can feel complicated and disruptive for people.
They also discussed what happens when we surrender to the situation and accept that the event is inevitable. Sometimes, when we surrender and accept the situation, we start the process of embracing disruptive events and emotions. Then, we can turn our focus to the potential gifts or opportunities that may arise from a tough life circumstance.
Addressing Medical Trauma and Anxiety
Our hosts talk about one possible reason for dread around an upcoming medical procedure or surgery. That is is the concept of medical trauma. This can happen when people have had negative experiences with doctors that make them resistant to seeking medical care. David shares his concerns about the bodily trauma involved in a major surgery despite being under anesthesia.
Margaret suggests acknowledging the anxiety rather than suppressing it, and finding compassion for the body’s healing process.
David talks about using trust in the unfoldment as a tool for anxiety. He also finds it helpful to stay occupied. Margaret and David concur that not acknowledging anxiety often goes worse than acknowledging it.
They relate the surgery to other life events involving grief and loss.
Emotional Impact of Disruptive Events
David and Margaret invite listeners to ask themselves: is it better to know or not know ahead about disruptive events? Are you a person who would rather know (“I’d rather plan!”) or not know (“I’d rather be surprised!”)? And, why?
They concluded by encouraging listeners to reach out for help if they are experiencing any disruptive events in their lives.