Daniel Pink explains how positive self-talk is better than negative self-talk. Doing a fist pump and telling yourself “I am going to rock this donor call” is going to create more success than telling yourself “there is no way I can ask the donor to give that much.”
I am sure this is not too big a surprise.
However, Pink explains that research now shows that the MOST effective self-talk actually involves asking yourself questions – known as “interrogative self-talk.” In other words ask yourself if you will be successful.
This may seem surprising because it feels like you are creating a sense of doubt.
So why does this work?
First the interrogative approach elicits answers and those answers give you a strategy for actually carrying out the task.
Let’s say you are preparing for a very important meeting with a major donor in which you have to ask for support well beyond what this donor has done in the past. If you ask yourself, “can I secure this transformational gift?” then research indicates you will give yourself a deeper and longer lasting sense of your ability to succeed.
You might say to yourself, “I have a great relationship with this donor” or “I am great at creating authentic connections with donors.” You may also remind yourself that you have prepared. “I have crafted a proposal that is right for this donor based on past conversations and research.” You may also give yourself advice on what to do better. “Sometimes after I make an ask, I speak too soon. This time I will let the donor absorb the request and wait calmly for their response.”
Secondly the interrogative approach works because it connects to the intrinsic reasons why you are pursuing this goal – and people are more successful when motivated by intrinsic vs. extrinsic reasons. You may think about creating an opportunity for this donor to support something that they passionately believe in. You may connect to the impact that this gift will have on the individuals that your organization supports.
So next time you are getting ready for an important donor call, ask yourself “can I do it?” Then list five specific reasons why your answer is YES.
These answers will create more success for you than affirmation alone.