As humans we have a universal desire to be seen and acknowledged. Let’s begin with a definition. Acknowledgements are different than compliments. “I enjoyed your presentation” is a nice compliment, whereas “you have an ability to take complex information and present it in a clear and meaningful way” is an acknowledgement. It points to who a person is being rather than what they are doing. A good acknowledgement is also about the person and not about you. While it is nice that you enjoyed the presentation, the second statement has power because it shows the strengths and skills that were being displayed by the person during their presentation.
As a manager, you will find that acknowledging your team’s strengths will illuminate and expand them. It will also create a more positive and motivating environment. So how can you strengthen your acknowledgement skill?
The first tip is to simply remember to start the acknowledgement with the word “YOU.” Many of us are used to speaking from our point of view when giving compliments. This is a simple concept, but can be a difficult pattern to change. So start by noticing and paying attention to your choice of words.
The second tip is to move from pointing out behaviour to celebrating your staff’s strengths and values. A valuable exercise here is to write down the names of your staff and create a list of the things you want to acknowledge about them. Then look for opportunities to do that. Reflecting on their last performance review or one-on-one meeting can point you to ideas about strengths they have and areas they want to grow.
A third tip is to pay attention to the phrasing. It is important to use words that resonant with the person and match what they value. For example, if you know they value authenticity then acknowledge when you see them being true to themselves even in difficult circumstances.
A final tip is to notice the person’s reaction to your acknowledgement. You want to ensure that the person heard you and took it in. Some people may feel uncomfortable at first, so give them space to receive your words. And remember that tip number three is crucial in this area. If you speak their language it will be easier for them to hear you.
None of these changes are difficult or complex, but changing behaviour can be difficult so you will need to create some structures to help you make these changes. Perhaps you write the word “YOU” down somewhere you will see it throughout the day. Or maybe you create a reminder in your calendar prompting you to make a “YOU” statement once a day. Another powerful way to make a change is to tell a trusted colleague what you are trying to change and ask them to hold you accountable.