Executive Coaching, Leadership Training, and Personal Development
Earlier this week I was watching The Life Sized City, a documentary highlighting citizen-led urban renewal. My own city of Toronto was the featured location. I was inspired by the story of a group of people who decided the city needed more public seating. They created #sitTO and unfolded simple Ikea chairs and tables around Toronto.
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Not too long ago I was working with a client who was dealing with a “pesky” colleague. Pesky means “causing trouble” or “annoying.” And, from one perspective it appeared that the colleague was indeed being pesky.
However, there is always another way of looking at the difficult people and circumstances in our lives. More often than not, they are our best teachers. As I reflect back on my own experience, I know this. Hindsight is often like that, and not all that helpful when you are dealing with the pest (or troubling event) in the moment.
Growing up my father used the expression “twerp” to describe any leader not meeting his high standards for character. As a man with a strong moral compass and a rock-solid ethical foundation who is held in high regard by his family, friends, students, and colleagues, any leader decried as a twerp by my father earned the label.
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On teams, it’s not uncommon for individuals to overlook those with whom they work each and every day. As the saying goes: “familiarity breeds complacency!”
And now there is clear evidence that the expression of appreciation improves employee retention rates. According to employee retention expert Leigh Branham, author of The 7 Hidden Reasons Employees Leave: How to Recognize the Subtle Signs and Act Before It’s Too Late, one of the top reasons someone leaves an organization is because s/he feels unrecognized.
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Recently, I was asked if it was possible to build the capacity for empathy and strengthen one’s emotional intelligence (EIQ). The short answer is–Yes!
The longer answer is a bit more nuanced. Many leaders today are conditioned by the educational industrial complex and other societal forces to favor left-brain, rational, analytical thinking. While that approach is useful, such conditioning tends to atrophy the right-brain capacity for empathy and EIQ. And, what we know now is that successful organizations in the modern economy require leaders to access their rational/analytical, AND emotional capabilities.
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Within the past couple of weeks, I helped my parents clean out and sell their condo in Southwest Florida. Mom and Pop are now in their 80’s and have chosen to move to an excellent assisted living facility nearby.
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We all dream, and it’s fun to dream big. What are your dreams? Write them down on a piece of paper and read them over as many times as you want, to really make them yours. We all set big goals for ourselves, to give more meaning to our lives. I wonder: do we actually achieve those big goals, or do we abandon them along the way? If you’re one of those people who leave their goals half-finished, or never even start them, I can imagine you feel frustrated, tired and fed up. What would it be like to celebrate each time you accomplished one of those easy-to-achieve resolutions? How would you feel? I suggest you put pen to paper and make a commitment to yourself to achieve the 4 easy-to-accomplish resolutions listed below:
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Right now I am exploring what Carl Jung called “synchronicity,” or the simultaneous occurrence of events that appear significantly related but have no discernible causal connection.
You know the sensation. One moment you are thinking of a friend, and then all of a sudden your cell phone rings and there she is. According to Jung (and many who followed him) synchronous circumstances while not related through casualty, are connected by intuition, meaning, or purpose.
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A few years back, our family was vacationing in Florida (before we permanently relocated). One morning, our two daughters were swimming in the pool, while we visited with my wife’s sister seated in chairs poolside. At some point, our younger daughter (who was just learning to swim) decided to jettison her life jacket and play on the steps in the shallow end near us. All well and good. Even though she was just learning to swim, Claudia was still under our watchful eye. As parents, Lillian and I are inclined to give our children some leeway.
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10-You don’t ask for help when you need it.
9-You have an inward (rather and an outward) mindset.
8-You do not touch, move and inspire anyone.
7-You allow your fears and saboteurs get the best of you.
6-You do not honor your word to yourself or others.
5-You continue to make yourself right and others wrong.
4-You avoid crucial and difficult conversations.
3-You run ineffective and inefficient meetings.
2-You succumb the myth of time scarcity.
And the #1 reason you’ll fail as a leader in 2017 is that you choose not to invest in your own learning and growth.
David Langiulli is a certified professional coach who helps nonprofit leaders flourish and thrive. He is also the author of The Essential Leadership Guide for Fundraising Professionals. Grab your FREE copy now by becoming a member at www.FundraisingLeadership.org.