Have you ever set a goal for yourself, worked incredibly hard to achieve it, but still came up short? It can be an unpleasant experience for some of us. Not achieving the target you set for yourself can be a tough pill to swallow. However, failing to achieve a goal can be the launching pad for future success for some individuals.
In this blog post, I’ll explore the power of Positive Intelligence and how it can help hyper-achievers deal with unachieved goals.
I hope you can learn from my recent experience, where I trained hard and aimed to win the World No-Gi Jiu-Jitsu Championships in my division but came up short.
I was well-prepared and had high expectations when I ventured to Las Vegas for the World No-Gi Jiu-Jitsu Championships. I aimed to win gold. Ultimately, I placed third, losing to the reigning world champion on points in a hard-fought match.
But even though I did not achieve my ultimate goal, I am proud of my performance and content with what happened.
This perspective is the power of Positive Intelligence. Individuals with high Positive Intelligence set audacious goals and can handle setbacks because they view them as gifts or opportunities to learn, grow, practice, and improve.
In my case, I registered for the tournament in December 2023 after having only competed once earlier in the year. Even though I train regularly up to four times a week, aiming for the gold was a stretch, given the limited competition exposure during the year.
Most “hyper-achievers” would have chosen NOT to compete because they tend to set goals they know they can achieve. This is counter-intuitive, but hyper-achievers tend not to set the bar high because they want to avoid (another saboteur) the discomfort that comes with failure. It’s common for hyper-achievers to regularly miss the mark when it comes to goal-setting.
Knowing these tendencies, I decided to participate in a tournament that draws the best worldwide. Even though I worked hard and prepared thoroughly for the event, I came up short. Although I failed to win the gold, I was satisfied with my overall performance and enjoyed the experience.
Our Positive Intelligence Coaching Program teaches individuals (especially hyper-achievers) how to develop a sense of healthy striving. One of the outcomes of our program is that individuals become aware of their hyper-achieving limitations and learn to set their goals at a high level while also showing them how to deal with setbacks and failure effectively.
Setting high goals, taking risks, and learning from failure is critical to successful leadership. Although we may only sometimes achieve our ultimate goals, this doesn’t diminish our experience and journey to reach them. Failing can be a positive learning experience; we can always take valuable lessons from it to help us progress, refine our thinking, and improve our performance.
For example, upon reviewing the video footage of my loss to the competitor who won the gold, I saw an opportunity to change tactics midway through the fight. It was ultimately an opportunity I missed, but should I face this opponent again, I am now aware of it and may choose a different course of action.
Hyper-Achievers rarely have the level of satisfaction that comes from setting and either achieving (or failing to achieve) outrageously challenging goals. This is one of the issues that the Positive Intelligence Coaching Program addresses.
Please reach out to one of us if it’s time for you to start re-evaluating your goals, setting higher ones, and learning from your failures to increase your life satisfaction.