Here’s a sometimes shocking concept: when someone makes a request of you, you can say “yes,” “no,” or make a “counteroffer.”
That is the power of choice. And people are sometimes quite surprised by this concept.
David and Margaret dive into the importance of making and accepting requests in personal and professional relationships. They explore the dynamics of making requests within an organizational context.
Their discussion touches on the balance between saying yes and no to requests in personal and professional relationships. They let listeners know about the power of the counteroffer, which introduces potential for negotiation and compromise through the ‘innovate power‘.
When No Isn’t An Option
What about when you don’t feel you can say “no” to a request at work?
True requests have embedded in them the power of choice. That is to say, the person receiving the request can say yes to it, no to it, or make a counteroffer. For a request to really be a request, the person receiving it must have the ability to accept, decline, or counter with alternative suggestions.
If no isn’t a possible answer, well, that’s actually a demand and not a request.
David and Margaret emphasize the need for leaders, including board members, to frame their requests as choices to maintain a healthy power dynamic.
They encourage listeners to experiment with this and offer others these choices when making a request. This approach can improve trust and relationships.
Do I Need To Give a Reason for My No?
Not only is no a fair answer to a request, but you can choose whether or not to provide a reason for your no.
David and Margaret agreed that a person declining a request does not necessarily need to provide a reason, but doing so can be beneficial. Not offering a reason can be a potential trigger for both the requester and the decliner.
Furthermore, they touched on the impact of declining a request without a reason, especially when it involves other people in the organization.
The Power Dynamics of Boards
Board members making demands on executive directors can be complex.
That’s why it’s important to maintain a healthy power dynamic, transparency, and integrity in these interactions. Executive directors and staff struggle with saying no to requests from their boards.
Margaret suggested the usefulness of the counteroffer with boards. It can open up a conversation for brainstorming alternative ways to meet demands, which could increase trust and improve relationships.
Does Your Team Make Requests — Or Just Demands?
They encourage listeners to experiment with this approach in their own relationships. Specifically, leaders should both model and encourage their reports to frame their requests as choices and that they should remind those receiving a request about these choices.
This can create a more positive work environment.
But if your team or organizational culture is a “yes only” situation, the Fundraising Leadership Team can help leadership teams and boards build more trust, integrity and accountability through their Trust, Candor, and Conflict training program.
Please contact David or Margaret if you have questions.