Executive Coaching, Leadership Training, and Personal Development
There is an art to being in relationship with others. A conversation is like a dance between two people. In this episode, Silvia, David and Janice explore and demonstrate the power of building on the ideas of others using the powerful phrase “What I like about what you’re saying is…”
Read the full list of The 7 Keys to Unlocking Relationships with Donors.
What is the secret to being in a relationship and creating magic? How can you improve the way you show up in relationships, and the way you connect with others?
I boarded the bus and found a seat in the last row, next to two young people who were chatting away. I sat there observing them… I was struck by their relationship. Looking at each other’s eyes, they listened to each other, sitting close together. Each one’s body posture shifted as if reflecting on the other, and their voices alternated in a kind of conversational dance. Watching them confirmed to me that there is an art to being in a relationship.
What would it feel like if you gave to others? Imagine devoting a brief space of time each day to giving to others; being of service to them; sharing. With one important proviso: this is giving without expecting anything in return.
My day couldn’t have gotten off to a better start. A donor called me early in the morning and unexpectedly asked me out to lunch. Within moments, that magical call had me smiling from ear to ear, filling me with energy. Receiving is one of life’s great pleasures; of course we all like being on the receiving end. We like it that someone else thought of us, and made that clear with a warm and generous gesture. Nevertheless, not only does receiving depend on others; it also doesn’t last forever.
Making the ask does not follow formulas or manuals. Every case and every situation is different, and as much as you want to have a guide with every step to give, you will not find it. There are no magic formulas.
However, this is the question that many fundraisers, sellers and freelancers ask me. What do I do if …? And the truth is that this is a question that I love. They tell me, and with good reason, that the answer does not please them so much. I always tell them it depends.
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Getting a new donor can take years; it also takes a lot of patience, persistence and resilience to keep smiling when obstacles and setbacks appear along the way.
The more confident you are, the more likely you are to clinch a deal that is a win-win for both sides. Gaining confidence means taking the time and finding a lot of reasons to connect and to create and build the relationship, co-creating a shared vision.
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You’ve been after a key donor for two years now. You’ve called more than 50 times and have had over 10 meetings with them, you’ve sent them over 100 emails, you’ve prepared and adapted the proposal several times, sent birthday wishes every year, and have done them a big favor. But the donor still says no. What does that feel like? Obviously, getting donors to Yes is the goal of any fundraiser.
Use the 7 keys for getting donors past “No” and to the “Yes”
As we celebrated the Independence of the United States of America this past 4th of July, I was reminded just how important fundraising was (and is) in the formation and nourishment of our private, non-profit organizations. Especially in the realm of post-secondary education.
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No–not dirty dancing. No–not flash dancing.
And, no–not “dancing with the devil in the pale moonlight” (Batman, 1989).
What I am referring to here is the dance between fundraising professional and donor. That’s right, the BIG DANCE. The one where you are present, open, and flexible. The one with JOY. The one with BEAUTY. The one where MAGIC happens.
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