We all hear so much about the “fight or flight response” to stress. However, lately I have been reading more about the “tend-and-befriend” response developed by Dr. Shelley E. Taylor of the University of California, Los Angeles. This refers to the evolutionary behavioral response of managing stress by caring for offspring and seeking social support. Dr. Taylor explains that women are more likely than men to look to others for support in times of stress. In the modern work world this means that women create, maintain, and use social networks—especially friendships with other women—to manage stressful conditions.
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The Power of Asking “Can I Do It?”
Daniel Pink explains how positive self-talk is better than negative self-talk. Doing a fist pump and telling yourself “I am going to rock this donor call” is going to create more success than telling yourself “there is no way I can ask the donor to give that much.”
I am sure this is not too big a surprise.
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3 Ways to Cultivate Work Relationships
As a fundraiser, you are naturally curious and a great listener. You spend time and energy getting to know your donors and thinking about how to cultivate these vital relationships. Furthermore, you are evaluated and rewarded for your ability to create meaningful relationships with donors, volunteers and board members.
This external focus and the busy pace can sometimes make you forget how important it is to cultivate relationships with colleagues. Especially relationships with people in other departments, such as research, communications or finance. And sometimes this is compounded by the fact that these coworkers have different styles and personalities than you.
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Say Yes to Improv at Work
The “Yes, And” rule is a guideline of improvisational comedy that suggests a participant should accept what the other person has created (“Yes”) and then add something to it (“And”) ~ Source: Wikipedia.
When you stop and reflect on this, it really is a philosophy for life and work. How many times have you been in a meeting where someone suggests a new idea and someone shuts it down with a statement like: [Read more…]
Acknowledge Your Team
As humans we have a universal desire to be seen and acknowledged. Let’s begin with a definition. Acknowledgements are different than compliments. “I enjoyed your presentation” is a nice compliment, whereas “you have an ability to take complex information and present it in a clear and meaningful way” is an acknowledgement. It points to who a person is being rather than what they are doing. A good acknowledgement is also about the person and not about you. While it is nice that you enjoyed the presentation, the second statement has power because it shows the strengths and skills that were being displayed by the person during their presentation.
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Champion Your Team
This morning a memory popped into my head from my earliest days as a fundraising consultant. It was one of my first meetings with my Vice President and I was expected to present a plan for a client project. I came to the meeting with several suggestions (but no definite idea) about how we could proceed.
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3 Ways to Cultivate Gratitude in Your Organization
Gratitude is “a felt sense of wonder, thankfulness, and appreciation for life.”
~ Robert Emmons
In The How of Happiness, Sonja Lyubomirsky talks about how research is highlighting the multiple benefits of gratitude. These include increased self-esteem, better ability to deal with stress, and increased social bonds. In other words, people who are consistently grateful are happier, more energetic, more helpful, and empathic.
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