Executive Coaching, Leadership Training, and Personal Development
Earlier this week I was watching The Life Sized City, a documentary highlighting citizen-led urban renewal. My own city of Toronto was the featured location. I was inspired by the story of a group of people who decided the city needed more public seating. They created #sitTO and unfolded simple Ikea chairs and tables around Toronto.
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When I bring up the idea of conflict, what is your reaction? Do you feel confident facing conflict situations head on? Or would you prefer to avoid conflict because it makes you uncomfortable?
According to Relationship Awareness Theory, people react to the idea of conflict in three main ways – Assert, Accommodate, or Analyze.
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Growing up my father used the expression “twerp” to describe any leader not meeting his high standards for character. As a man with a strong moral compass and a rock-solid ethical foundation who is held in high regard by his family, friends, students, and colleagues, any leader decried as a twerp by my father earned the label.
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I am anticipating the latest book by Gretchen Rubin – The Four Tendencies – due out in September. Gretchen, an expert on happiness and good habits, created the Four Tendencies framework which categorizes the different ways that people respond to expectations.
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On teams, it’s not uncommon for individuals to overlook those with whom they work each and every day. As the saying goes: “familiarity breeds complacency!”
And now there is clear evidence that the expression of appreciation improves employee retention rates. According to employee retention expert Leigh Branham, author of The 7 Hidden Reasons Employees Leave: How to Recognize the Subtle Signs and Act Before It’s Too Late, one of the top reasons someone leaves an organization is because s/he feels unrecognized.
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A few years back, our family was vacationing in Florida (before we permanently relocated). One morning, our two daughters were swimming in the pool, while we visited with my wife’s sister seated in chairs poolside. At some point, our younger daughter (who was just learning to swim) decided to jettison her life jacket and play on the steps in the shallow end near us. All well and good. Even though she was just learning to swim, Claudia was still under our watchful eye. As parents, Lillian and I are inclined to give our children some leeway.
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A key topic among fundraising leaders is how to ensure that your team gets important things done without feeling like you are micro-managing the process.
In fact, fostering a culture of accountability within your team is a key skill for all managers. It aligns perfectly with the coaching style of leadership.
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We all hear so much about the “fight or flight response” to stress. However, lately I have been reading more about the “tend-and-befriend” response developed by Dr. Shelley E. Taylor of the University of California, Los Angeles. This refers to the evolutionary behavioral response of managing stress by caring for offspring and seeking social support. Dr. Taylor explains that women are more likely than men to look to others for support in times of stress. In the modern work world this means that women create, maintain, and use social networks—especially friendships with other women—to manage stressful conditions.
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Most leaders, managers, and administrators do their best to avoid risk and minimize uncertainty. It’s understandable. Taking risk is scary, and it is in our nature as human beings to want to control situations for predictable outcomes.
Sadly, tons of energy and lots of money is wasted organizations on this “controlling” activity. And, very little is ever learned, nor is much accomplished that is worthwhile by playing it safe.
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As a fundraiser, you are naturally curious and a great listener. You spend time and energy getting to know your donors and thinking about how to cultivate these vital relationships. Furthermore, you are evaluated and rewarded for your ability to create meaningful relationships with donors, volunteers and board members.
This external focus and the busy pace can sometimes make you forget how important it is to cultivate relationships with colleagues. Especially relationships with people in other departments, such as research, communications or finance. And sometimes this is compounded by the fact that these coworkers have different styles and personalities than you.
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