Back in 2019, when I still believed in planning and intention setting, I choose some words for 2020: potent, tender, and raw and real.

Those were good and beautiful words – and ones I still try to live by – but I didn’t bother choosing intention words heading into 2022. (The word for that turns out to be “prescient.”)

But because I am a word person, I do have a word that I want to embrace starting now.

It’s SURFING.

I don’t surf, personally, because I have a deep aversion to getting water up my nose and drowning, both of which seem inevitable when I consider paddling myself out into waves. Yet, there is something about the metaphor of it that feels pretty helpful right now. Sometimes we miss a wave we meant to catch. Sometimes we grab it and get an incredible ride that fills us with lightness and aliveness – even if it threatens to take away our footing. And sometimes, the wave clobbers us. And, then we blow the water out of our nose and climb back onto the board to try again.

And the question is, as leaders and humans, what do we need to reach for to go seek that next wave? [Read more…]

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Margaret: Can We Stop Talking About “The New Normal”, And Try Instead To “Live in Liminal”?

Last month, I celebrated the American Thanksgiving with my two sons and one of their friends. Since the end of my marriage two years ago, I have been deeply resistant to holidays. Ours is a family that loved and valued traditions – and I couldn’t quite let go of the tradition of the four of us all being at the table. So, for the past two years, we’ve found a way to combine forces.

This has had the positive effect of no one needing to have a major holiday without our sons. However, as anyone who’s ever had a relationship end also knows, it’s had many tick marks in the “negative” column, too.  My kids have reported – with accuracy – that it has felt tense and awkward. One of my sons even said it felt like there was something decaying in the room – the decomposing space of a marriage that hadn’t been allowed to burn fully to ash so that something new might (or might not) be possible.

This year, my ex-husband wisely said: let’s not. And he resourced himself with other family members, and I got to spend the day cooking and enjoying a meal of gratitude with my grown sons.

And I realized, the morning after Thanksgiving, as I finished putting away the wine glasses and reflected on a great night, what I had been missing out on by holding onto the comfort and familiar of what’s now the old. We had a lovely night, in which I got treated to my sons’ culinary talents and adventure (deep fried turkey!), as well as a way we danced together during cooking and cleaning that was as delightful as it was oddly unexpected. This is a new way my family looked this year, and even though it is likely to change without notice, I loved it. And I have taken years to be open to this delightful new version. [Read more…]