Fundraising Leadership ™

Executive Coaching, Leadership Training, and Personal Development

The Value of Mentorship from a Student Perspective

by

A black cameraMentee to Mentor: A Leadership Journey

Having a mentor became a foundational element for me that impacted the trajectory of my career. I’m not talking about one session with a mentor or remembering something inspirational that “changed my life.” I’m talking about the continuous mentoring web woven into my education and career by the dozens of people who provided consistent and unconditional support, advice, and guidance, both purposefully and simply by example. 

I now have a mentor mindset, so this entire post is written in an attempt to provide you with some helpful tips if you’re considering finding a mentor or becoming one.

My Journey as a Mentee 

The first mentoring environment I was a part of was (mostly) accidental. Accidental in the sense that when I started college at the University of Puget Sound to study business, I was part of the Business Leadership Program. The program took my already small class size of 500 hundred down to roughly 30 students providing me with easy access to faculty, staff, advisors, classmates, and every built-in support network I needed to succeed academically and professionally. I knew that I was excelling because of a supportive community filled with mentors at every turn. [Read more…]

All About Gaslighting: How Gaslighting OURSELVES Is NOT a Leadership Skill

by

It was a lot of years ago, but it’s still a story I tell: I was skiing fast, right at my edge, which is on the high side. I snagged my ski in a bit of soft snow and went down hard onto my shoulder and my head. It was the second day in my life that I ever wore a helmet, inspired by my then-young children who wondered, reasonably, why I made them wear helmets when I didn’t sport one myself.

Despite my new red helmet (decorated lovingly by my children with cool alien stickers), I hurt myself pretty badly. In fact, I later – like a couple days later – learned that I had a severe concussion and a broken arm, but, believe it or not, I popped up out of that snow immediately, attuned only to my bleeding fat lip.

I skied down, took the lift back up and went to lunch. I was having a little trouble carrying my tray, but still didn’t accept the fact that I was hurt. I headed down, again on my own power, only a bit dizzy. Later, I went out to dinner, but couldn’t eat because I felt like throwing up.

Maybe it was the head injury that kept me in such an abysmal absence of self-care (I only went to the doctor two days later and only then because my boss sent me, noticing that I wasn’t functioning well). But I’m sharing this story again now because self-care seems like a really important topic in this moment. It’s been a summer of chaos: news stories that have led to despair and grief, travel that has been long-anticipated and difficult, more Covid … Maybe more reality than many of us want or welcome. [Read more…]

Introverting Your Way to Fundraising Success

by

My name is Emma, and I’m a Reluctant Introvert.

Like most people with a deep love of personal development, I’ve done 𝘢𝘭𝘭 the assessments – from Myers-Briggs (#TeamINFJ!) to True Colours (is that still a thing?)

Every time, without fail, I land in the introvert camp.

In true introvert style, I’ve been spending some time reflecting lately – why am I so resistant to embracing the idea of introversion? [Read more…]

When Leadership Needs Some Fun and Games

by

“Burgundy,” I shout.

“Ochre,” Katrin tosses back.

“Aqua,” I say.

“Sunflower yellow,” she returns. 

“Broccoli metallic!” I offer up, and we dissolve into fits of laughter and cannot continue any further.

It’s the first few minutes of our hour-long meeting to prepare for a workshop, and Katrin and I have started off by playing a game we made up called “Color Duel.” We take turns naming colors until someone repeats a color that’s already named or pauses for more than 5 seconds or we can’t stop laughing. And then the game is over and we get to work. It’s so much fun for us.

[Read more…]

A Report from the Front Lines: Leading through Relentless Times

by

As 2021 ended, from my desk in the Executive Director office of a family resource center in Longmont, Colorado, I found myself feeling optimistic that the beginning of a new year would bring about a respite from all the stress and hardship that was created by the pandemic. After all, we did have reason for hope. The tidal wave of Omicron was subsiding, indications were that the spread of COVID-19 would continue to significantly decline, mask mandates were being dropped, and many aspects of life that many of us took for granted were returning to “normal.” [Read more…]

Listen to Rest

by

When I was a child my father would say, “Nneka, the good Lord gave you two ears and one mouth, so listen twice as much as you talk.” I can remember as a little girl thinking hard about this and struggling with that part of me that is indeed a talker. As a teen, I often rolled my eyes (out of eyeshot of course!) and allowed his wisdom to run through one ear and out the other. As an emerging adult, I saw this adage as a practice and a way of creating enduring relationships with others. But as I sit amid my middle-aged adult life, I find myself returning to the contemplation of my childhood. I am learning that to listen well to others, I must first be able to hear and listen to myself. Turning the act of listening inward. And as I explore this new truth, I am surprisingly finding deeper wisdom, a rhythm and rest. [Read more…]

Embracing Mindful Self Compassion

by

I’ve been practicing mindful self-compassion for a while now. It’s a program based on: The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook.

This work could not have come at a better time for me.  For most of my adult life, I had a strong inner critic that was harsh and judgmental.  

At one point, I labeled this voice “Sledgehammer” because sometimes it felt like I was beating myself up with one. 

As a result of some work called Positive Intelligence and the exercises in the Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook, I’ve turned down the volume on that harsh voice.  

[Read more…]

Surfing the Uncertainty: Lessons about Leadership from the South Pacific

by

Back in 2019, when I still believed in planning and intention setting, I choose some words for 2020: potent, tender, and raw and real.

Those were good and beautiful words – and ones I still try to live by – but I didn’t bother choosing intention words heading into 2022. (The word for that turns out to be “prescient.”)

But because I am a word person, I do have a word that I want to embrace starting now.

It’s SURFING.

I don’t surf, personally, because I have a deep aversion to getting water up my nose and drowning, both of which seem inevitable when I consider paddling myself out into waves. Yet, there is something about the metaphor of it that feels pretty helpful right now. Sometimes we miss a wave we meant to catch. Sometimes we grab it and get an incredible ride that fills us with lightness and aliveness – even if it threatens to take away our footing. And sometimes, the wave clobbers us. And, then we blow the water out of our nose and climb back onto the board to try again.

And the question is, as leaders and humans, what do we need to reach for to go seek that next wave? [Read more…]

The End Game to Creating a Culture of Belonging on Nonprofit Boards

by

A colourful sign that reads You belong          “I don’t want to play with them. They’re mean.”

 (My five-year-old son about seven years ago when playing on the playground)

I remembered my son’s declaration last week while facilitating a board retreat in Alabama. A Black male board member sat in his seat fidgeting and looking extremely uncomfortable while I and my white counterpart, Dr. Renee Rubin Ross (The Ross Collective) facilitated a conversation about the racial tension their board was experiencing. About one third of their board had been visibly absent for most of our training over the course of three months. Those missing in action were white men. Only two out of eight were participating. 

We had created a safe and brave space and had all heard the agreements for the conversation and meeting. Stan’s (not his real name), apparent discomfort drew attention to him. He was invited to speak. At first, he seemed reluctant but then he blurted out “I don’t want to work with white people and try to convince them to get along with me.” The room grew eerily silent. We all sat looking at him and at one another. Stan continued, “I can be at work or making strides in my own community where I know I belong and can make change.” [Read more…]

Vulnerability in Uncertain Times

by

 

In this new year, I’ve been thinking about vulnerability as a strength. About the vital role it plays in emotional intelligence and good leadership. 

My Grandma passed away just before Christmas from COVID. She meant a great deal to me and may have had the single most impact on who I became as a person. I spent many hours at her home when I was young. We read Dr. Seuss books. We sang Burl Ives songs together and worked on puzzles. She bought me mini loaf pans and taught me to make bread. From her, I learned how to plant, harvest, and put up food.

Grandma was strong, smart, tenacious, kind, diligent, committed, thoughtful, and deeply caring. She was also afraid to be vulnerable much of her life. She could be hard, unbending. She always needed to be in control to feel safe. She taught me these things, too. [Read more…]